Grief as a Gateway To Joy

I didn’t understand what true joy was until I started to feel my grief. I used to think joy was transactional and that it was dependent on things outside of me. In truth I was really just numbing myself with external shit.

As I continue to dive deep with myself, I have learned that much of my joy is the fruit of my grief. And the more I let the river of my woes flow, the deeper I am in awe of the connection between grief and magic.

Grief is the most expansive emotion, if we allow it to be so…

It’s the kind of emotion that cracks our hearts wide open. And what most of us haven’t been taught, is that grief is a beautiful form of love.

Like the kind of grief that brings you to your knees on the kitchen floor while you’re cooking yourself a meal — the only thing you had the energy to do that day. You’re a fucking mess and at the same time feel more true to yourself than you have in a while.

Like the kind of grief that expands your heart to oblivion after a fleeting soulful connection — with a stranger you know you’ll never see again. And for a split second you are reminded of the bountiful graciousness in raw human connection.

Like the kind of grief that pulls you over on the side of the road and completely changes the trajectory of your plans — giving you the most heart centered and nourishing day you’ve had all month. And as a result you learned something new and beautiful about yourself.

I keep learning again and again that grief is boundless. It comes in many forms. And when we allow our grief to just be, when we allow ourselves to surrender to our sadness, all while knowing that it will come and it will go — it’s magical. Because grief is truly the gateway to the depths of our heart. And beyond that…sadness and grief are the most humanly part about being human.

On the other side of grief there is joy, connectedness, & expansion. And if we choose so, grief can also be part of the pleasure of being a human.